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Some families keep their nanny for years, while others go through a string of nannys, leaving children confused. It’s a lot of work finding your dream nanny, but the hardest part is after the hire, developing a strong ongoing relationship. Think about your own work environment and how your boss treats you. Realize that she’s a professional in her own right.

1. Does she know you appreciate her? Express your appreciation to your nanny out loud frequently, and give her respect and support, especially in front of the children. Don’t allow your children to be disrespectful to her and never speak unkindly to her. Zoe from Unnecessary Wisdom tells the story of her own part time nanny job and a boss who hosted an executive company Christmas party. She invited Zoe to attend and hired a sitter for the event. She raised a toast and asked her husband and Zoe  to stand, announcing: “To my husband and Zoe – the two most important people in my life. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to do what I do.” Zoe recounts her undying devotion to this family for years afterwards.

2. Are you really Communicating? Take time to establish regular communication routines with your nanny, daily, weekly, monthly and annually. Take 15 minutes weekly to review her plans and schedule for the following week. Share developmental goals, ideas for the household, your frustrations, and listen to hers as well. Initiate a Nanny Log and ask her to make notes daily and actually read them, occasionally leaving notes of your own or give written praise for a job well done.

3. How do you resolve conflicts? Think before you speak. Focus on creating a win-win solution, not on being right. How can she effectively play with your children, dance with them, sing to them, cuddle with them, put them to sleep if you yell at her or give her the cold shoulder? The fingerprints on the microwave may be bothering you. You know it’s silly and not worth mentioning, because you’re OCD, and you don’t want to rock the boat because she’s home with your baby all day. She already knows something is wrong, but can’t get you to tell her. The baby knows too. It could be something more serious, and I know it’s hard for you to bring it up, but after the first time, it gets easier. The process of resolving conflict will actually bond you both closer together when done quickly, before it festers. Take care of it the same day it occurs, or as soon as possible.

4. Are you micromanaging? If you’ve done your homework and found a nanny you can trust, then trust her. It’s not fun being under a critical eye. A  good parent draws forth the qualities they envision for their child. Likewise, your faith in your nanny, knowing she’ll do well, creates confidence and a desire to please you even more.

5. Are you adding more duties and hours? Don’t keep adding more chores or hours without additional compensation.

6. Is she bored? Encourage her to get out and go on playdates, trips to the zoo, the park, the Children’s Museum or the Butterfly Wonderland. Being a nanny is isolating. The interaction and stimulation will benefit your child.

7. Is your pay and benefits package competitive? If you’re able, are you giving her raises when you get a raise at your job?
Beth

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We love spending precious time with our children, but you want and need to get away for a date-night, a wedding, or just a ‘mental health break’. But you can only enjoy your time away if you’ve done your homework and have a trustworthy sitter giving your children an equally enjoyable time too! I’m the preferred sitter for my grandchildren, but I can’t always be there, so they’ve had to find outside help.

Choosing a sitter can be a very intimidating task and there are several aspects to evaluate. Get a list of possible candidates, and start phone screening.

1. Even if the referral is from a friend, follow your gut level feelings during the first phone call. Does she come across as cheerful, friendly, and confident? A babysitter’s most important job is to be a good role model, and if you’re not feeling totally comfortable, move on to the next person.
Call her references, asking behavioral based questions. How do the children feel about her? Does she hug and kiss them? Is she timely, safety-conscious?
Does she live close-by, so if you like her, she’ll be more likely to return? Has she had recent experience with the ages of my children? You don’t even want to bring someone into your home unless they have passed this much screening.

2. When she walks through the door, does she come prepared, with a book or simple activities for older children? Does she get down on the floor to connect with them? Does she ask pertinent questions?

3. Before leaving home, go through the house rules and define any out of bound areas. Jenny, our Family Coordinator, never leaves home without reviewing the Heimlich Maneuver, since she’s personally had so many close calls. Show her how to turn off the water main in case of a busted pipe. Show her where the First Aid Kit is and flashlights in case of a power outage. Leave your cell phone phone numbers plus one or more alternates who live nearby – a neighbor is perfect – as well as your Pediatrician and where you’ll be.

4. After the sitting, do more sleuthing.
What did she do during your absence? Did she bring some creative ideas or crafts  that ware age appropriate? A favorite book? Or did they watch TV?
Do the children like her and want her back again?  Even an infant can tell you a lot. Was he tense or relaxed? Older children can tell you if she was on her phone or texting.

Was she able to get the children to bed on time without too much trouble with teeth brushed and baths or faces washed?

How did the house look when you walked in?

Did she give you a report of how the evening went including any snags?

5. Find a sitter before you need one. Perhaps you don’t need a sitter right now, but when you do need one, you want to be prepared so you’re not neglecting any steps in the process.
A good sitter is a valuable addition to your family. Getting out and alone for adult conversations strengthens your marriage and gives you a balanced perspective on who you are. We Moms quickly find our significance in our Mothering, but that’s only a part of who we are. Surprisingly, it also gives children immense security when they see you walking out the door hand in hand, even if they fuss a bit the first time.

If you’re in need of a good babysitter, feel free to contact our office. The babysitters we send out on Temp jobs are candidates who we’ve already placed in permanent positions, so we know them well. They have current CPR and First Aid as well as an up to date full background check. They’ve filled out a five-page application, had extensive interview in our office and detailed references checked, which are open for you to peruse. We also have 24/7 phone access for after hours and weekend last minute needs.

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